Porn is love you can see.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My dad just said "fuck circus"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
