So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize