whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
