I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
