I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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