are you still at the devil's house?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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