Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
