Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
