He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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