Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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