There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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