She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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