Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
