I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize