No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
