We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
