She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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