I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
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my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
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I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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