I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
one might say we're banned from that church
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
