Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We are two peas in an std pod
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
