real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize