I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
