well I can't set my house on fire every night
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
