She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
