She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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