the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
