i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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