U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
