I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
