Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
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I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
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I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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