Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
