Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
