ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
