so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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