I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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