My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
