If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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