and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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