I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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