she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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