Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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