Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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