3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
If I die, sorry about rent.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
