Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
