I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize