Ambien. No doubt about it.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
tell me about the eggs
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