Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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