im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
