I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
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