know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The best revenge is premature balding
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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