how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
