Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
