WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i now understand why vodka
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