last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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