forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
