sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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