the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
This is my gift to your gina
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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