Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
