i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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