Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
