My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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