just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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